i read an article about how people who have high self-esteem tend to have unrealistically positive attitudes about themselves and their social circles. they tend to believe they are above-average, and they believe in a bright future for themselves and their acquaintances, leading to an optimism bias.
on the other hand, i found depressive realism. basically, it says that depressed people have a more realistic view of the world around them. generally, the assumption is that a depressed person has a negative cognitive bias. however, that bias tends to be a more accurate representation of reality than a non-depressed person’s positive bias.
this really doesn’t help a depressed individual, finding out that their assumptions about failure and negativity are actually more accurate than the construct of those happy individuals around them.
all of those horrible, terrible thoughts i have about my life? they’re probably true.
"ignorance is bliss", right? i suppose it could also be "bliss is ignorance."
i don’t mean to be self-deprecating. i’m writing this because hopefully, it will help me understand how i’m thinking. believe me, this sucks.
i’m not as happy as i thought i was.